Resources
(listed alphabetically by topic)
Please share your thoughts on any of these topics or the resources provided on this website's blog page. What resonates? What have you tried? What worked or didn't work? Tell the rest of us your parenting stories!
Please share your thoughts on any of these topics or the resources provided on this website's blog page. What resonates? What have you tried? What worked or didn't work? Tell the rest of us your parenting stories!
Emotional Development
Emotional Intelligence is a hot topic these days, as many disciplines and professions recognize the effect of emotions on every endeavor, especially those that involve interpersonal relationships. It is beneficial in many ways to be able to identify and identify with (empathy) how others are feeling, at home, at work and elsewhere in the world, and a relief to know that this is a teachable/learnable skill.
Emotion Coaching is the umbrella under which teaching empathy and empowering children (see those sections below) resides. Here are some articles about Emotion Coaching:
Here is a quick explanation of emotion coaching, which describes Dr. Gottman’s work. It hints at the connection between positive discipline and emotion coaching.
https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-emotion-coaching/
This is a video series from the Gottman Institute. I haven’t watched it, and you have to buy it, but I’m including it because the Gottmans are highly reputable and their advice is research-based. You can decide if you’re interested enough to purchase it!
https://emotioncoaching.gottman.com/about/
This article suggests a few “steps” in the process of emotion coaching, including identifying your own emotions and cultivating empathy and compassion for what your child is experiencing. The only detail I would disagree with is the rote apology the parent asks the child to make; I believe that making amends is more meaningful to everyone. It also conflicts with the author’s advice in the next step, to avoid telling a child how she ought to feel.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/emotion_coaching_one_of_the_most_important_parenting_practices_in_the_histo
On Empathy
Here are links to some articles and videos (I couldn’t find any podcasts; I apologize if this is your favorite way to learn) on teaching empathy.
Links to resources on Teaching Empathy:
Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston. She studies courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy and has written several books on these topics. You may have seen this popular video, shared by a parent, or seen one of her Ted talks on vulnerability or courage.
Empathy is Tough to Teach, But is One of the Most Important Life Lessons, by Dr. Brene Brown
https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2017/02/08/empathy-is-tough-to-teach-but-is-one-of-the-most-important-life-lessons/?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20170211
This article describes the evidence that humans are wired for empathy, but goes on to explain that it needs to be cultivated/taught, too.
https://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-empathy.html
Here’s a Sesame Street video that you might want to watch with your child(ren):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=9_1Rt1R4xbM
This site offers suggestions for easy-to-implement games that can be played with little or no equipment:
https://ourpastimes.com/childrens-games-that-teach-empathy-13583162.html?ref=Track2&utm_source=IACB2B
Here’s a good article with tips about how you can cultivate empathy in real life. I especially like Tip # 4, as it touches on “cognitive empathy,” the ability to intellectually understand or imagine another person’s circumstances and the resulting emotions:
https://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-empathy-tips.html
This one is interesting because it examines empathy in the context of the larger world:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/seven_ways_to_foster_empathy_in_kids
Here are some ideas from the Making Caring Common Project, from the Harvard School of Education:
https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-mcc/files/empathy.pdf
This is a link to many videos about teaching empathy:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=teaching+empathy
Empowering children is also of great relevance, as parents and teachers seek to find ways to help them recognize and cultivate their own strengths, be able to stand their ground, resist peer pressure, and make good decisions for themselves.
I personally believe that “we” have become way too overprotective. Children need to take risks, learn from their mistakes (if they perceive it that way!), and try again another way. In this way they eventually understand themselves as capable, persistent, adaptable, resilient, and smart: all of which add up to feeling confident and in control of their own lives, which means empowered.
Children also benefit from being held accountable for their actions and asked to be responsible for something, like pet care or some cleaning task or helping with food preparation. Again, this contributes to their understanding of themselves as capable, leading to confidence and empowerment.
Give your child regular opportunities to make their own decisions. Obviously, you are in control of which ones: the high-stakes decisions are in your power, but smaller, yet important ones, give kids practice in thinking about their actions and the possible consequences, and in deciding what they think about a given situation or topic. Over time, they learn to trust their own judgment, which becomes crucial as they move further and further into the world.
It is powerful for children to get to express their opinions about things that require some thought. For instance, “Do you think it’s ok to…….? Why?” or, “What do you think we could do to help so & so?” or “What would you do if your best friend pushed you?” These conversations can come up organically as you share your daily stories, but sometimes the adults have to exercise patience for the slower pace of children’s thinking process. If children are given time to think, decide and articulate their views, they gain a sense of themselves as people whose thoughts and opinions matter.
Finally, I believe that children gain a sense of their own worth and power if we teach them how to set boundaries. In preschool, many of you have probably heard me cue children to stand up for themselves while respecting others. For example, kids should know how to say, “Don’t touch me; this is my body,” or “that is my project. Please don’t touch it,” or “I want to play by myself.”
I protect their right to build or draw or paint until they are satisfied, and ask them to let those who might be waiting know when they are finished. All of these tactics help instill in children the belief that they have rights, that they and their work are worthy of protection, and also that they in turn must respect others’ boundaries.
All of these small experiences add up, over time, to a child who is thoughtful, confident, able to speak up for her or himself, and to trust her or his own judgment. That means she or he is empowered, and that is a big payoff for your years of work!
Here are links to some articles, videos and podcasts on empowering children:
Here is an article that is short and to the point. I like the reminder that sometimes children need help to complete a task, and it’s ok to give them help! Sometimes I think we (I know I did with my kids!) get stuck in an attitude that says, “you made the mess, you clean it up,” which doesn’t really teach them to take responsibility, it teaches them that they’re on their own when they’re overwhelmed (of course, you have to ascertain if you’re being wheedled or not!). Helping models helping! Isn’t that something we want to teach them?
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2600
This article is in a 10-tips format, which I like because it makes it easy to implement. I found it thought-provoking. It might make you think about times in your own daily lives that you can either add to or subtract from your child’s feelings of empowerment.
https://www.babble.com/babble-voices/10-ways-to-empower-your-kids-to-be-better-humans/
This one touches on the ripple effect that a powerful person can have in influencing others.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/byron-garrett/empowering-children-the-r_b_13380428.html
I don’t agree with this author’s assertion that children are a blank slate, but I think it’s true that children become what we tell them they are, all-in-all. I also really like the “pirate stance,” which reminds me of “teasing shields,” which we’ve made before, and which help kids to remember their own power to resist or ignore the rude words or actions of others. This is one way to set a boundary: “I don’t have to listen to that.”
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-top-tips-to-empower-your-kids_us_589032bee4b04c35d583523c
This article delves into how important it is for kids to know that you value their opinions, thoughts and ideas.
https://goodmenproject.com/families/7-things-a-parent-can-say-to-empower-their-child-dg/
A couple of TED talks:
How to Ignite and Empower Children: Soulamia Gourani.
This one made me wonder, “why do we discourage children, then congratulate them for making it “against all odds,” when we could just encourage them in the first place?!? Gourani makes a compelling case for really seeing and listening to kids, and helping them see their own value.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88lL_CpCS48
Parenting to Empower: Harry Judd
Harry Judd asserts that the prime opportunity for parents to empower positive decision making in their children lies in a values based approach. Instilling values early on provides a sense of security and self-confidence that makes children less likely to be negatively influenced by outside forces.
Interestingly, Harry is a teenager.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=3QYg4SRpR6Q
Emotional Intelligence is a hot topic these days, as many disciplines and professions recognize the effect of emotions on every endeavor, especially those that involve interpersonal relationships. It is beneficial in many ways to be able to identify and identify with (empathy) how others are feeling, at home, at work and elsewhere in the world, and a relief to know that this is a teachable/learnable skill.
Emotion Coaching is the umbrella under which teaching empathy and empowering children (see those sections below) resides. Here are some articles about Emotion Coaching:
Here is a quick explanation of emotion coaching, which describes Dr. Gottman’s work. It hints at the connection between positive discipline and emotion coaching.
https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-emotion-coaching/
This is a video series from the Gottman Institute. I haven’t watched it, and you have to buy it, but I’m including it because the Gottmans are highly reputable and their advice is research-based. You can decide if you’re interested enough to purchase it!
https://emotioncoaching.gottman.com/about/
This article suggests a few “steps” in the process of emotion coaching, including identifying your own emotions and cultivating empathy and compassion for what your child is experiencing. The only detail I would disagree with is the rote apology the parent asks the child to make; I believe that making amends is more meaningful to everyone. It also conflicts with the author’s advice in the next step, to avoid telling a child how she ought to feel.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/emotion_coaching_one_of_the_most_important_parenting_practices_in_the_histo
On Empathy
Here are links to some articles and videos (I couldn’t find any podcasts; I apologize if this is your favorite way to learn) on teaching empathy.
Links to resources on Teaching Empathy:
Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston. She studies courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy and has written several books on these topics. You may have seen this popular video, shared by a parent, or seen one of her Ted talks on vulnerability or courage.
Empathy is Tough to Teach, But is One of the Most Important Life Lessons, by Dr. Brene Brown
https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2017/02/08/empathy-is-tough-to-teach-but-is-one-of-the-most-important-life-lessons/?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20170211
This article describes the evidence that humans are wired for empathy, but goes on to explain that it needs to be cultivated/taught, too.
https://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-empathy.html
Here’s a Sesame Street video that you might want to watch with your child(ren):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=9_1Rt1R4xbM
This site offers suggestions for easy-to-implement games that can be played with little or no equipment:
https://ourpastimes.com/childrens-games-that-teach-empathy-13583162.html?ref=Track2&utm_source=IACB2B
Here’s a good article with tips about how you can cultivate empathy in real life. I especially like Tip # 4, as it touches on “cognitive empathy,” the ability to intellectually understand or imagine another person’s circumstances and the resulting emotions:
https://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-empathy-tips.html
This one is interesting because it examines empathy in the context of the larger world:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/seven_ways_to_foster_empathy_in_kids
Here are some ideas from the Making Caring Common Project, from the Harvard School of Education:
https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-mcc/files/empathy.pdf
This is a link to many videos about teaching empathy:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=teaching+empathy
Empowering children is also of great relevance, as parents and teachers seek to find ways to help them recognize and cultivate their own strengths, be able to stand their ground, resist peer pressure, and make good decisions for themselves.
I personally believe that “we” have become way too overprotective. Children need to take risks, learn from their mistakes (if they perceive it that way!), and try again another way. In this way they eventually understand themselves as capable, persistent, adaptable, resilient, and smart: all of which add up to feeling confident and in control of their own lives, which means empowered.
Children also benefit from being held accountable for their actions and asked to be responsible for something, like pet care or some cleaning task or helping with food preparation. Again, this contributes to their understanding of themselves as capable, leading to confidence and empowerment.
Give your child regular opportunities to make their own decisions. Obviously, you are in control of which ones: the high-stakes decisions are in your power, but smaller, yet important ones, give kids practice in thinking about their actions and the possible consequences, and in deciding what they think about a given situation or topic. Over time, they learn to trust their own judgment, which becomes crucial as they move further and further into the world.
It is powerful for children to get to express their opinions about things that require some thought. For instance, “Do you think it’s ok to…….? Why?” or, “What do you think we could do to help so & so?” or “What would you do if your best friend pushed you?” These conversations can come up organically as you share your daily stories, but sometimes the adults have to exercise patience for the slower pace of children’s thinking process. If children are given time to think, decide and articulate their views, they gain a sense of themselves as people whose thoughts and opinions matter.
Finally, I believe that children gain a sense of their own worth and power if we teach them how to set boundaries. In preschool, many of you have probably heard me cue children to stand up for themselves while respecting others. For example, kids should know how to say, “Don’t touch me; this is my body,” or “that is my project. Please don’t touch it,” or “I want to play by myself.”
I protect their right to build or draw or paint until they are satisfied, and ask them to let those who might be waiting know when they are finished. All of these tactics help instill in children the belief that they have rights, that they and their work are worthy of protection, and also that they in turn must respect others’ boundaries.
All of these small experiences add up, over time, to a child who is thoughtful, confident, able to speak up for her or himself, and to trust her or his own judgment. That means she or he is empowered, and that is a big payoff for your years of work!
Here are links to some articles, videos and podcasts on empowering children:
Here is an article that is short and to the point. I like the reminder that sometimes children need help to complete a task, and it’s ok to give them help! Sometimes I think we (I know I did with my kids!) get stuck in an attitude that says, “you made the mess, you clean it up,” which doesn’t really teach them to take responsibility, it teaches them that they’re on their own when they’re overwhelmed (of course, you have to ascertain if you’re being wheedled or not!). Helping models helping! Isn’t that something we want to teach them?
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2600
This article is in a 10-tips format, which I like because it makes it easy to implement. I found it thought-provoking. It might make you think about times in your own daily lives that you can either add to or subtract from your child’s feelings of empowerment.
https://www.babble.com/babble-voices/10-ways-to-empower-your-kids-to-be-better-humans/
This one touches on the ripple effect that a powerful person can have in influencing others.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/byron-garrett/empowering-children-the-r_b_13380428.html
I don’t agree with this author’s assertion that children are a blank slate, but I think it’s true that children become what we tell them they are, all-in-all. I also really like the “pirate stance,” which reminds me of “teasing shields,” which we’ve made before, and which help kids to remember their own power to resist or ignore the rude words or actions of others. This is one way to set a boundary: “I don’t have to listen to that.”
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-top-tips-to-empower-your-kids_us_589032bee4b04c35d583523c
This article delves into how important it is for kids to know that you value their opinions, thoughts and ideas.
https://goodmenproject.com/families/7-things-a-parent-can-say-to-empower-their-child-dg/
A couple of TED talks:
How to Ignite and Empower Children: Soulamia Gourani.
This one made me wonder, “why do we discourage children, then congratulate them for making it “against all odds,” when we could just encourage them in the first place?!? Gourani makes a compelling case for really seeing and listening to kids, and helping them see their own value.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88lL_CpCS48
Parenting to Empower: Harry Judd
Harry Judd asserts that the prime opportunity for parents to empower positive decision making in their children lies in a values based approach. Instilling values early on provides a sense of security and self-confidence that makes children less likely to be negatively influenced by outside forces.
Interestingly, Harry is a teenager.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=3QYg4SRpR6Q
Big Body Play
Frances Carlson is the well-known author of Big Body Play: Why Boisterous, Vigorous and Very Physical Play is Essential to Children's Development and Learning. The following articles are glimpses into her book:
http://www.communityplaythings.com/resources/articles/2012/come-out-and-play
http://www.ccie.com/library/5018870.pdf
And here's an article from Raising Children, an Australian parenting website.
http://raisingchildren.net.au/ar…/rough_and_tumble_play.html
If you'd like to read more, just google "rough and tumble play" and many resources pop up.
Frances Carlson is the well-known author of Big Body Play: Why Boisterous, Vigorous and Very Physical Play is Essential to Children's Development and Learning. The following articles are glimpses into her book:
http://www.communityplaythings.com/resources/articles/2012/come-out-and-play
http://www.ccie.com/library/5018870.pdf
And here's an article from Raising Children, an Australian parenting website.
http://raisingchildren.net.au/ar…/rough_and_tumble_play.html
If you'd like to read more, just google "rough and tumble play" and many resources pop up.
The Birds and The Bees: Developmentally Appropriate Ways to Talk With Your Child About Reproduction and Sex
As all of these resources stress, parents should start sex education, framed by their values, when children are very young. For one thing, this helps set the precedent for the more awkward conversations with your child when they’re older.
Sex education is not just about teaching the names of body parts and how women get pregnant. It is about nourishing your child’s strong sense of self, and being in charge of him or herself. When children are young is when they are forming their sense of self, which should include positive attitudes about their bodies. This is when you can empower your child to set boundaries for themselves (remember our discussions on empowerment?), which is an important skill they will need for the rest of their lives, in every part of life.
Using correct names for body parts is important, though. One of the most compelling reasons to do so is that if there is ever a time when your child needs to tell you about symptoms in their genital area, or another person inappropriately touching them, they need the vocabulary to do so. If a child does not know the correct term for body parts, she or he will be ill equipped to let anyone know. As Rick Bartell says in his article, Age Appropriate Conversations for Parents and Kids, “Parents can be working to help their children develop a positive attitude about their bodies and can begin to give children control over those bodies by giving them a vocabulary as well as the positive attitudes that they will need to protect and enjoy themselves. If you can’t name it and you feel bad about it, then you can’t protect it or nurture it.”
I hope these videos, podcasts and articles help you form your own philosophy of sex education for your family. Happy watching, listening and reading!
BIRDS & THE BEES VIDEOS
In this TED talk, Lisa Osherow makes talking to children about sex seem as matter-of-fact as reminding them to put their helmet or seatbelt on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=k5hspA18IU0
This excellent TEDx talk, Body Sovereignty and Kids: How we can cultivate a culture of consent, by Monica Rivera, who teaches courses on violence prevention, gender socialization, and the representation of identity in popular media at Colorado State University, begins with her thoughts on protecting college-age students, and works backwards to early childhood.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvGyo1NrzTY ARTICLES
BIRDS & THE BEES ARTICLES
The Sexuality Resource Center for Parents has many resources, as its name implies, including this easy-to-read, bulleted list of what children need to know at each developmental stage.:
http://www.srcp.org/for_some_parents/typical_development/the_basics/whatwhenTD.html
Rick Bartell, of Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region, writes clearly and compassionately about talking with children of all ages about their bodies. The sections on older children will give you an idea of what is coming in the future.
http://www.ongov.net/cfs/documents/AgeAppropriateConversationsBartell_000.pdf
Here is a series of three articles from About Kids Health:
The first one has some general concepts to keep in mind, including appropriate information and knowledge for different ages.
https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=716&language=English
The second one begins with the suggestion to think about how you were taught about sex as a child, and whether you’d like your child to have a similar or different experience. It goes on to offer guidelines for holding conversations with your child.
https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=717&language=English
The third one encourages you to talk with your children about sex, and offers good reasons to do so.
https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=718&language=English
The American Academy of Pediatrics’ website, healthychildren.org, offers articles about how to talk to children about sex, at different ages.
This one is about preschoolers.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/Pages/Talking-to-Your-Young-Child-About-Sex.aspx
This one has information especially relevant for parents of young teenagers, but it is worth reading even if your child is much younger.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/puberty/Pages/Talking-to-Your-Child-About-Sex.aspx
Tulsakids.com has compiled a list of books for parents and children to read together. I used one of them, It’s Perfectly Normal, when my kids were of older elementary school age, and found it very helpful.
http://www.tulsakids.com/January-2012/Age-Appropriate-Books-to-talk-to-your-Kids-about-Sex/
This article by Phyllis Fagell, published in The Washington Post, discusses, among other things, the important role that values have in your decisions about how to talk with your children about sex.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-sex/2017/08/29/2c994fce-77c5-11e7-8839-ec48ec4cae25_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.689a38f35ab4
KidsHealth.org, part of The Nemours Foundation's Center for Children's Health Media, has pages for parents, children and educators. This article touches on some common questions, such as what to do when your child plays “doctor.”
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/questions-sex.html
From the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States:
SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States) provides resources for educators, activists and policy makers about comprehensive sexuality education, but parents might find their work helpful, as well.
http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.ViewPage&pageId=472
Here is one example: Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education: Kindergarten through 12th Grade
http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=document.viewDocument&documentid=185&documentFormatId=217&vDocLinkOrigin=1&CFID=34766437&CFTOKEN=40044b881bee2a83-63338539-1C23-C8EB-808A849ED1EA965B
BIRDS & THE BEES PODCASTS
Debbie Reber, of Tilt Parenting, interviews Amy Lang on Sex Education and Differently-Wired Kids. Amy Lang is passionate about helping parents talk to their kids about sex.
This podcast features honest, graphic language about sexuality and body parts. I recommend that you stick with it to get an understanding of the concepts, regardless of your level of comfort with the language or with the very progressive approach to sex-education. Though it specifically targets parents of autistic children, all that is discussed is applicable to typical children.
Debbie, the interviewer, says, “Amy is brilliant at helping parents understand how to get comfortable being uncomfortable and foster a dynamic with our children that will result in healthy attitudes around sexuality, as well understand what consent means, and be savvy daters as our kids enter the teen years. LOTS to discuss, lots to learn!”
Scroll down on this web page to find a list of books, articles and websites on this topic.
http://www.tiltparenting.com/2017/02/14/episode-44-sex-education-and-our-differently-wired-kids/
This short NPR piece is about a Sex Ed teacher in the Bronx.
https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2015/06/01/406988245/beyond-the-birds-and-the-bees-surviving-sex-ed-today
As all of these resources stress, parents should start sex education, framed by their values, when children are very young. For one thing, this helps set the precedent for the more awkward conversations with your child when they’re older.
Sex education is not just about teaching the names of body parts and how women get pregnant. It is about nourishing your child’s strong sense of self, and being in charge of him or herself. When children are young is when they are forming their sense of self, which should include positive attitudes about their bodies. This is when you can empower your child to set boundaries for themselves (remember our discussions on empowerment?), which is an important skill they will need for the rest of their lives, in every part of life.
Using correct names for body parts is important, though. One of the most compelling reasons to do so is that if there is ever a time when your child needs to tell you about symptoms in their genital area, or another person inappropriately touching them, they need the vocabulary to do so. If a child does not know the correct term for body parts, she or he will be ill equipped to let anyone know. As Rick Bartell says in his article, Age Appropriate Conversations for Parents and Kids, “Parents can be working to help their children develop a positive attitude about their bodies and can begin to give children control over those bodies by giving them a vocabulary as well as the positive attitudes that they will need to protect and enjoy themselves. If you can’t name it and you feel bad about it, then you can’t protect it or nurture it.”
I hope these videos, podcasts and articles help you form your own philosophy of sex education for your family. Happy watching, listening and reading!
BIRDS & THE BEES VIDEOS
In this TED talk, Lisa Osherow makes talking to children about sex seem as matter-of-fact as reminding them to put their helmet or seatbelt on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=k5hspA18IU0
This excellent TEDx talk, Body Sovereignty and Kids: How we can cultivate a culture of consent, by Monica Rivera, who teaches courses on violence prevention, gender socialization, and the representation of identity in popular media at Colorado State University, begins with her thoughts on protecting college-age students, and works backwards to early childhood.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvGyo1NrzTY ARTICLES
BIRDS & THE BEES ARTICLES
The Sexuality Resource Center for Parents has many resources, as its name implies, including this easy-to-read, bulleted list of what children need to know at each developmental stage.:
http://www.srcp.org/for_some_parents/typical_development/the_basics/whatwhenTD.html
Rick Bartell, of Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region, writes clearly and compassionately about talking with children of all ages about their bodies. The sections on older children will give you an idea of what is coming in the future.
http://www.ongov.net/cfs/documents/AgeAppropriateConversationsBartell_000.pdf
Here is a series of three articles from About Kids Health:
The first one has some general concepts to keep in mind, including appropriate information and knowledge for different ages.
https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=716&language=English
The second one begins with the suggestion to think about how you were taught about sex as a child, and whether you’d like your child to have a similar or different experience. It goes on to offer guidelines for holding conversations with your child.
https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=717&language=English
The third one encourages you to talk with your children about sex, and offers good reasons to do so.
https://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=718&language=English
The American Academy of Pediatrics’ website, healthychildren.org, offers articles about how to talk to children about sex, at different ages.
This one is about preschoolers.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/Pages/Talking-to-Your-Young-Child-About-Sex.aspx
This one has information especially relevant for parents of young teenagers, but it is worth reading even if your child is much younger.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/puberty/Pages/Talking-to-Your-Child-About-Sex.aspx
Tulsakids.com has compiled a list of books for parents and children to read together. I used one of them, It’s Perfectly Normal, when my kids were of older elementary school age, and found it very helpful.
http://www.tulsakids.com/January-2012/Age-Appropriate-Books-to-talk-to-your-Kids-about-Sex/
This article by Phyllis Fagell, published in The Washington Post, discusses, among other things, the important role that values have in your decisions about how to talk with your children about sex.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-sex/2017/08/29/2c994fce-77c5-11e7-8839-ec48ec4cae25_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.689a38f35ab4
KidsHealth.org, part of The Nemours Foundation's Center for Children's Health Media, has pages for parents, children and educators. This article touches on some common questions, such as what to do when your child plays “doctor.”
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/questions-sex.html
From the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States:
SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States) provides resources for educators, activists and policy makers about comprehensive sexuality education, but parents might find their work helpful, as well.
http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.ViewPage&pageId=472
Here is one example: Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education: Kindergarten through 12th Grade
http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=document.viewDocument&documentid=185&documentFormatId=217&vDocLinkOrigin=1&CFID=34766437&CFTOKEN=40044b881bee2a83-63338539-1C23-C8EB-808A849ED1EA965B
BIRDS & THE BEES PODCASTS
Debbie Reber, of Tilt Parenting, interviews Amy Lang on Sex Education and Differently-Wired Kids. Amy Lang is passionate about helping parents talk to their kids about sex.
This podcast features honest, graphic language about sexuality and body parts. I recommend that you stick with it to get an understanding of the concepts, regardless of your level of comfort with the language or with the very progressive approach to sex-education. Though it specifically targets parents of autistic children, all that is discussed is applicable to typical children.
Debbie, the interviewer, says, “Amy is brilliant at helping parents understand how to get comfortable being uncomfortable and foster a dynamic with our children that will result in healthy attitudes around sexuality, as well understand what consent means, and be savvy daters as our kids enter the teen years. LOTS to discuss, lots to learn!”
Scroll down on this web page to find a list of books, articles and websites on this topic.
http://www.tiltparenting.com/2017/02/14/episode-44-sex-education-and-our-differently-wired-kids/
This short NPR piece is about a Sex Ed teacher in the Bronx.
https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2015/06/01/406988245/beyond-the-birds-and-the-bees-surviving-sex-ed-today
Positive Discipline: a few things I’ve learned over the years
The biggest lesson I have learned is to try to stay detached. This translates to staying calm and not engaging in a power struggle! Decide ahead of time, if you can, what is important to enforce, and what is not. Even pausing in the moment of conflict to decide whether the issue really matters is helpful. I often took that moment after I’d decreed some rule, and realized that I was coming from my position as the adult and parent in power. When I stopped to think about it, there really was no good reason why x, y or z must be. I learned to say, “I thought about that and I changed my mind. It is ok for you to do x.” Or, “I thought about this some more and it’s ok for you to do x if you do abc first.”
I also believe that often, when children are “misbehaving,” they’re actually expressing a need to move in some way or they are experimenting. For example, every year in the Marmot room, there are a few children who must throw everything that comes into their hands. Instead of outlawing that, I set up a place where it’s safe and permissible to throw to their heart’s content. When they’re full of energy and can’t slow their bodies down, if at all possible one of us will take them outside.
A piece of advice that I got from Francie Gass, one of our local, BTC Parent Educators, is to state your expectations in terms of “when,” or “after,” NOT “if.” For example, if you are asking your child to clean up, say, “when you finish putting away those toys, then you can……” Or, “After you put those away, then you can…....” This makes it clear that you expect the child to do whatever you’re asking. When you use the word, “if,” then you are allowing that there’s a possibility your child won’t do what you’re asking.
It was helpful for me to tell my children what I wanted them to say, or how I wanted them to say it. If they were whining or yelling, I’d say, “I can listen to you when you tell/ask me in your regular voice. Say, ‘Mommy, will you help me?’” Or, “I’d be happy to help you if you ask me politely. Say, “mommy, will you please help me?’”
Naomi Aldort, author of "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves," says, "A lot of what we expect of children is unreasonable." I agree. I see double-standards in which we are asking things of children that we ourselves do not practice. A big example of this is sharing. I don’t like to share my things, unless it’s my idea. I think that we want our children to be “nice,” and if they can share, that’s proof of “nice.” In the classroom, we emphasize taking turns, rather than sharing. I allow children to have a satisfying turn, which they get to define for themselves, usually. After some time they come to trust that they’ll get a good, long turn, which makes it easier to wait gracefully.
Following is a list of Links to articles, podcasts and TED talks. These are just a few of the seemingly endless resources that came up when I googled “positive discipline.”
Here’s a link to an article on Positive Guidance from NAEYC, the National Association for the Education of Young Children. This organization has been my “guru” since 1985, when I started teaching and taking classes in Early Childhood Education. I trust this organization because their recommendations are grounded in research. You can find articles addressing many topics on their website.
https://families.naeyc.org/child-development/positive-guidance-through-ages
This link takes you to an article by Bridget Bentz Sizer, on the PBSParents website:
Bridget Bentz Sizer:
http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/positive_discipline_tips.html
This link is to a short video on Dr. Jane Nelson’s website. She wrote one of the seminal books on positive discipline, and this is a great “nutshell” of this parenting approach and for me, teaching philosophy. She sums it up by saying, “Positive discipline is not punitive, and it’s not permissive.” She also implies that to discipline is to teach (the word discipline comes directly from Latin disciplina, meaning, "instruction given, teaching, learning, knowledge.").
https://www.positivediscipline.com/about-positive-discipline
For podcasts from Jane Nelson:
https://www.positivediscipline.com/positive-discipline-podcast
Another helpful article from the same website:
https://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/parenting-preschoolers
Here’s an at-a-glance poster with the main tenets of positive discipline:
http://www.durham.ca/departments/health/family_health/parenting/positiveDiscipline/sections/3-5yrs.pdf
If you’re willing to sign up, this site offers several very short videos that offer food for thought:
https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/search/site/positive%20discipline
Tips for Parents: Positive Discipline With Sharon Silver on Responding NOT Reacting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY0tumtJGic
Positive Discipline for Toddlers | Isis Parentinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX0MQ5ZXVio
Dr. Joan Durrant, a clinical child psychologist, describes what positive discipline is, and what it is not. She also provides an overview of her approach to positive discipline, and draws an analogy between building a house and raising children that provides a framework of guiding principles. If you like her, there are numerous others in this series.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fu7tMizaG4
Practice Positive Discipline. This is short and sweet and fits into the overall philosophy of attachment parenting.
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/discipline
A quick read with easy-to-digest guidelines:
http://www.parenting.com/article/positive-discipline
The biggest lesson I have learned is to try to stay detached. This translates to staying calm and not engaging in a power struggle! Decide ahead of time, if you can, what is important to enforce, and what is not. Even pausing in the moment of conflict to decide whether the issue really matters is helpful. I often took that moment after I’d decreed some rule, and realized that I was coming from my position as the adult and parent in power. When I stopped to think about it, there really was no good reason why x, y or z must be. I learned to say, “I thought about that and I changed my mind. It is ok for you to do x.” Or, “I thought about this some more and it’s ok for you to do x if you do abc first.”
I also believe that often, when children are “misbehaving,” they’re actually expressing a need to move in some way or they are experimenting. For example, every year in the Marmot room, there are a few children who must throw everything that comes into their hands. Instead of outlawing that, I set up a place where it’s safe and permissible to throw to their heart’s content. When they’re full of energy and can’t slow their bodies down, if at all possible one of us will take them outside.
A piece of advice that I got from Francie Gass, one of our local, BTC Parent Educators, is to state your expectations in terms of “when,” or “after,” NOT “if.” For example, if you are asking your child to clean up, say, “when you finish putting away those toys, then you can……” Or, “After you put those away, then you can…....” This makes it clear that you expect the child to do whatever you’re asking. When you use the word, “if,” then you are allowing that there’s a possibility your child won’t do what you’re asking.
It was helpful for me to tell my children what I wanted them to say, or how I wanted them to say it. If they were whining or yelling, I’d say, “I can listen to you when you tell/ask me in your regular voice. Say, ‘Mommy, will you help me?’” Or, “I’d be happy to help you if you ask me politely. Say, “mommy, will you please help me?’”
Naomi Aldort, author of "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves," says, "A lot of what we expect of children is unreasonable." I agree. I see double-standards in which we are asking things of children that we ourselves do not practice. A big example of this is sharing. I don’t like to share my things, unless it’s my idea. I think that we want our children to be “nice,” and if they can share, that’s proof of “nice.” In the classroom, we emphasize taking turns, rather than sharing. I allow children to have a satisfying turn, which they get to define for themselves, usually. After some time they come to trust that they’ll get a good, long turn, which makes it easier to wait gracefully.
Following is a list of Links to articles, podcasts and TED talks. These are just a few of the seemingly endless resources that came up when I googled “positive discipline.”
Here’s a link to an article on Positive Guidance from NAEYC, the National Association for the Education of Young Children. This organization has been my “guru” since 1985, when I started teaching and taking classes in Early Childhood Education. I trust this organization because their recommendations are grounded in research. You can find articles addressing many topics on their website.
https://families.naeyc.org/child-development/positive-guidance-through-ages
This link takes you to an article by Bridget Bentz Sizer, on the PBSParents website:
Bridget Bentz Sizer:
http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/positive_discipline_tips.html
This link is to a short video on Dr. Jane Nelson’s website. She wrote one of the seminal books on positive discipline, and this is a great “nutshell” of this parenting approach and for me, teaching philosophy. She sums it up by saying, “Positive discipline is not punitive, and it’s not permissive.” She also implies that to discipline is to teach (the word discipline comes directly from Latin disciplina, meaning, "instruction given, teaching, learning, knowledge.").
https://www.positivediscipline.com/about-positive-discipline
For podcasts from Jane Nelson:
https://www.positivediscipline.com/positive-discipline-podcast
Another helpful article from the same website:
https://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/parenting-preschoolers
Here’s an at-a-glance poster with the main tenets of positive discipline:
http://www.durham.ca/departments/health/family_health/parenting/positiveDiscipline/sections/3-5yrs.pdf
If you’re willing to sign up, this site offers several very short videos that offer food for thought:
https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/search/site/positive%20discipline
Tips for Parents: Positive Discipline With Sharon Silver on Responding NOT Reacting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY0tumtJGic
Positive Discipline for Toddlers | Isis Parentinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX0MQ5ZXVio
Dr. Joan Durrant, a clinical child psychologist, describes what positive discipline is, and what it is not. She also provides an overview of her approach to positive discipline, and draws an analogy between building a house and raising children that provides a framework of guiding principles. If you like her, there are numerous others in this series.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fu7tMizaG4
Practice Positive Discipline. This is short and sweet and fits into the overall philosophy of attachment parenting.
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/discipline
A quick read with easy-to-digest guidelines:
http://www.parenting.com/article/positive-discipline
Santa
Here's a link to an interesting article about what to say to children who begin to doubt the existence of Santa:
http://imgur.com/gallery/qHrK6
Here's a link to an interesting article about what to say to children who begin to doubt the existence of Santa:
http://imgur.com/gallery/qHrK6
Screen Time/Internet Safety
American Academy of Pediatrics Announces New Recommendations for Children's Media Use www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Announces-New-Recommendations-for-Childrens-Media-Use.aspx
The White Hatter offers information about internet safety. The Bellingham School District hosted The White Hatter at an informational program for parents in February, 2017. Visit the White Hatter's website to find out more. https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/parents
American Academy of Pediatrics Announces New Recommendations for Children's Media Use www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Announces-New-Recommendations-for-Childrens-Media-Use.aspx
The White Hatter offers information about internet safety. The Bellingham School District hosted The White Hatter at an informational program for parents in February, 2017. Visit the White Hatter's website to find out more. https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/parents
Self-Care for Parents
SCANVA is a great source of encouragement for parents to care for themselves. This organization has a poster, articles, radio show and podcast.
Self-Care for Parents poster
DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL/EMOTIONAL SELF? DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR CREATIVE/SPIRITUAL SELF? Parents often feel pressured to give so much to our children that we forget to take care of ourselves, or we feel guilty for taking care of ourselves.
https://www.scanva.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/SelfCare2016_English.pdf
An article from SCANVA
https://www.scanva.org/?s=self+care+for+parents
Parenting Today radio show, about 10 minutes:
https://www.scanva.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Parenting_Today_Self_Care.mp3
A podcast on self-care for parents with iHeart Radio’s Lori Brooks:
https://www.scanva.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/ParentingPodcast_5_SelfCare.mp3
OTHER SOURCES
This article from AhaParenting.com is about taking care of your deeper wounds in order to benefit yourself and your child. # 5 has some good ideas for taking care of yourself by de-stressing:
Healing Yourself So You Can Be a More Peaceful Parent
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/healing-yourself
An article by Erin Leyba, LCSW, Ph.D., contributor to Psychology Today magazine.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/joyful-parenting/201708/25-simple-self-care-tools-parents
PEPS (Program for Early Parent Support), has several helpful articles:
Self-Care for Parents:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/self-care-for-parents
PEPS Moms share how they recharge:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/how-PEPS-Moms-recharge
Self-care for Parents of Newborns:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/parents-of-newborns
Check Your Boobies:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/check-your-boobies
Creating Healthy Families: Putting Yourself and Your Relationship First
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/grow-parenting
MORE ARTICLES
Why self-care is an important part of parenting, and how to make time for it:https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/in-defense-of-a-parents-day-off/2017/01/23/270ffafc-d8f2-11e6-b8b2-cb5164beba6b_story.html?utm_term=.4954e2519116
This article from GoZen! nicely balances a philosophical approach to self-care with practical tips:
8 Self-Care Tips for Parents Who Have No Time for Self-Care
https://www.gozen.com/8-self-care-tips-for-parents-who-have-no-time-for-self-care/
From Ladies Want More.com, here’s a short, down-to earth article that makes it sound easy!
5 Steps to Self-Care for Parents in the New Yearhttp://www.ladieswantmore.com/5-steps-to-self-care-for-parents-in-the-new-year/
VIDEOS
Carrie Contey is a nationally recognized prenatal and perinatal psychologist. Here are several of her short, inspiring videos.
In this one she enthusiastically encourages parents to take care of themselves!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=13&v=mk523mJ_Rqk
And this one is just pure fun! It’ll make you smile and inspire you to try out some of these ways to take care of yourself. It’s just under two minutes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQnIE49pu_g
This one is profound, and only four minutes long. It is directed to teachers but very applicable to parenting (the overlap is striking):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=234&v=1cBDWW_NRBc
If you need even more support for prioritizing care of yourself, just google “Self Care for Parents,” and visit both the “web” and “video” results pages. There are an amazing number of articles, posters and videos out there!
SCANVA is a great source of encouragement for parents to care for themselves. This organization has a poster, articles, radio show and podcast.
Self-Care for Parents poster
DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL/EMOTIONAL SELF? DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR CREATIVE/SPIRITUAL SELF? Parents often feel pressured to give so much to our children that we forget to take care of ourselves, or we feel guilty for taking care of ourselves.
https://www.scanva.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/SelfCare2016_English.pdf
An article from SCANVA
https://www.scanva.org/?s=self+care+for+parents
Parenting Today radio show, about 10 minutes:
https://www.scanva.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Parenting_Today_Self_Care.mp3
A podcast on self-care for parents with iHeart Radio’s Lori Brooks:
https://www.scanva.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/ParentingPodcast_5_SelfCare.mp3
OTHER SOURCES
This article from AhaParenting.com is about taking care of your deeper wounds in order to benefit yourself and your child. # 5 has some good ideas for taking care of yourself by de-stressing:
Healing Yourself So You Can Be a More Peaceful Parent
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/healing-yourself
An article by Erin Leyba, LCSW, Ph.D., contributor to Psychology Today magazine.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/joyful-parenting/201708/25-simple-self-care-tools-parents
PEPS (Program for Early Parent Support), has several helpful articles:
Self-Care for Parents:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/self-care-for-parents
PEPS Moms share how they recharge:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/how-PEPS-Moms-recharge
Self-care for Parents of Newborns:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/parents-of-newborns
Check Your Boobies:
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/check-your-boobies
Creating Healthy Families: Putting Yourself and Your Relationship First
http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/by-topic/self-care/grow-parenting
MORE ARTICLES
Why self-care is an important part of parenting, and how to make time for it:https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/in-defense-of-a-parents-day-off/2017/01/23/270ffafc-d8f2-11e6-b8b2-cb5164beba6b_story.html?utm_term=.4954e2519116
This article from GoZen! nicely balances a philosophical approach to self-care with practical tips:
8 Self-Care Tips for Parents Who Have No Time for Self-Care
https://www.gozen.com/8-self-care-tips-for-parents-who-have-no-time-for-self-care/
From Ladies Want More.com, here’s a short, down-to earth article that makes it sound easy!
5 Steps to Self-Care for Parents in the New Yearhttp://www.ladieswantmore.com/5-steps-to-self-care-for-parents-in-the-new-year/
VIDEOS
Carrie Contey is a nationally recognized prenatal and perinatal psychologist. Here are several of her short, inspiring videos.
In this one she enthusiastically encourages parents to take care of themselves!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=13&v=mk523mJ_Rqk
And this one is just pure fun! It’ll make you smile and inspire you to try out some of these ways to take care of yourself. It’s just under two minutes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQnIE49pu_g
This one is profound, and only four minutes long. It is directed to teachers but very applicable to parenting (the overlap is striking):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=234&v=1cBDWW_NRBc
If you need even more support for prioritizing care of yourself, just google “Self Care for Parents,” and visit both the “web” and “video” results pages. There are an amazing number of articles, posters and videos out there!
Sleep
How to Get Your Child to Sleep (Really!)
www.parenting.com/article/how-to-get-your-child-to-sleep-really
How to Get Your Child to Sleep (Really!)
www.parenting.com/article/how-to-get-your-child-to-sleep-really
Spirited Children
Mary Sheedy Kurchinka is a parent, parent educator and the author of perhaps the most famous books on parenting spirited children.
Her website:
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/
Here are some of her blogposts:
Rebound after the Holidays
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/BlogPost.cfm?BID=232
This link leads to several other links to articles about Power Struggles, one of which (Taking the Fight out of Getting Out) is in alignment with our other topic for January, 2018, “Nurturing Yourself:”
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/BlogSearchResult.cfm?Cat=25
What's Your Parenting Style?
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/BlogPost.cfm?BID=225
Here’s a review of her book, Raising Your Spirited Child, by Derrick Schneider, a dad:
https://geekdad.com/2015/06/review-raising-spirited-child/
An article by Kurcinka, published in Today, that might be the most helpful of all of these, because it encourages parents to reframe their notions about their child in positive terms:
https://www.today.com/parents/no-spirited-child-not-another-word-brat-t43106
Darci Lopez, a contributor to Huff Post:
5 Overlooked Strategies For Raising Your Spirited Child
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-tips-for-raising-your-spirited-and-gifted-child_us_57851652e4b09c5504c42783
Parenting From the Heart is a blog site written by Alana Pace:
https://parentingfromtheheartblog.com/parenting-a-spirited-child/
Aha! Parenting’s website offers many articles about parenting; this one focuses on spirited children, with an emphasis on positive guidance:
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child
Mary Sheedy Kurchinka is a parent, parent educator and the author of perhaps the most famous books on parenting spirited children.
Her website:
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/
Here are some of her blogposts:
Rebound after the Holidays
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/BlogPost.cfm?BID=232
This link leads to several other links to articles about Power Struggles, one of which (Taking the Fight out of Getting Out) is in alignment with our other topic for January, 2018, “Nurturing Yourself:”
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/BlogSearchResult.cfm?Cat=25
What's Your Parenting Style?
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/BlogPost.cfm?BID=225
Here’s a review of her book, Raising Your Spirited Child, by Derrick Schneider, a dad:
https://geekdad.com/2015/06/review-raising-spirited-child/
An article by Kurcinka, published in Today, that might be the most helpful of all of these, because it encourages parents to reframe their notions about their child in positive terms:
https://www.today.com/parents/no-spirited-child-not-another-word-brat-t43106
Darci Lopez, a contributor to Huff Post:
5 Overlooked Strategies For Raising Your Spirited Child
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-tips-for-raising-your-spirited-and-gifted-child_us_57851652e4b09c5504c42783
Parenting From the Heart is a blog site written by Alana Pace:
https://parentingfromtheheartblog.com/parenting-a-spirited-child/
Aha! Parenting’s website offers many articles about parenting; this one focuses on spirited children, with an emphasis on positive guidance:
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child